Althea and Donna, some time ago.
Yesterday my five year old daughter spent evening conversing with me, her mother and her baby sister in an eerily accurate Lancastrian accent. I prevailed upon her to desist, as I found this ability both unnerving and irritating, but she refused to so do. It seems that she has taken this vocal tic from a televisual strand entitled "Fifi and the Flowertots", in which the eponymous lead character speaks in such a manner.
Armed with this information, I threatened to take her to her South London primary school the next day and converse with her friends and teachers using the distinctive argot and vocal inflections of another televisual favourite of hers, to whit: "Rastamouse". This seems to have done the trick.
Have others been forced to adopt such measures in order to make their children "cease an sekkle"?
To continue on a Jamaican "tip", if you will; later in the evening, I was myself engaged in television viewing, to whit the British Broadcasting Corporation's "Sounds of the Seventies" strand, when I was suddenly presented with a vision of Caribbean loveliness in the form of a popular singing duo with the moniker of "Althea and Donna", performing a disc which they had cut which featured almost impenetrable lyrical content.
However, I was stirred in a very visceral manner, partly by the heavy, insistent skanking beat, but mainly by the delicious lady wearing glasses, whom I take to be "Donna". So moved was I by her beauty that I began to get jiggy wi' mi ding a ling, cum in mi pants an ting...
However, my beatific state was disturbed by Mrs. Tampon entering the room, getting duppy pon mi head and shouting for somebody called "Ross Clart".
Have others ever been rumbled during a spot of uptown top wanking?
